As the Rescue Coordinator for Partners for Animal Welfare Society [P.A.W.S.], I have to make life and death decisions about homeless pets every week.  When I go into a "kill" shelter looking for pets to rescue, my heart aches with the knowledge that many of the beautiful, wonderful pets I leave behind will die in that shelter through no fault of their own.  I know our rescue can not save them all and tell myself to concentrate on the ones we do save.

This past week has been one of the hardest I can ever remember having in my 40 years of animal welfare & rescue work.  A few days before Christmas, I got a call from Anderson Animal Control asking if we had room to take in a pregnant sweet tempered Miniature Pinscher mix.  Only two days before we had taken in a very pregnant Border Collie from Rushville Animal Control and I struggled, momentarily, with the thought of two mommas delivering within days of each other at our small shelter.  But I firmly believe "God has a plan" and with a leap of faith told Anderson AC we would take her.  Olive [named for the main character in the children's book "Olive the Other Reindeer"] joined the P.A.W.S. family and on January 3 gave birth to four adorable, healthy little boy puppies.  We named them Opie, Orion, Orlando and Otis. 

One of the best parts of my job is getting to play with the puppies and I took full advantage of the opportunity for the next two months.  All four puppies found homes very quickly once they were 8-weeks-old and weaned.  Orlando had been in his new home for over a week when I got a call from the adopter at 7:00 pm on a Friday night telling me he was very, VERY sick and that I needed to come get him.  When I arrived and found him nearly comatose on the adopter's couch, I was angry and panicked.  He was incredibly thin, obviously dehydrated and had very labored breathing.  I told the adopter we would refund the adoption fee deposit, scooped him up and ran to my car.  I tried calling several of the veterinarians we work with in the hopes that one of them would be willing to deal with an emergency on a Friday night.  None of them responded.  I knew Orlando would not live through the night without immediate medical care so I headed off to Veterinary Emergency Clinic. 

As I stood in the examination room holding Orlando's tiny body in my arms, I was praying he wouldn't die. Finally, the vet came in, examined him and told me he had a severe case of pneumonia in both lungs.  She advised that we needed to get him on oxygen and start antibiotics.  She left the room and came back several minutes later with an initial treatment plan and an estimate of the cost -- $2,700.   

So there I stood, holding a puppy that I'd first held when only a few hours old -- a puppy that only 8 days before was healthy, playful and vibrant -- facing a decision of either euthanising him or committing to treatment at a cost that was astronomical to our small rescue.  There was no question of taking him home or to the shelter -- he would not have made it through the night.  I asked the vet what his chances were of surviving with treatment and she said it was hard to tell but maybe 50/50.  How could we afford to spend nearly $3,000 on one little puppy?  I looked down at Orlando's little face and knew I simply could not be the one who told the vet to euthanise him. 

I handed him to the vet who whisked him away to insert IV's and place him in the oxygen infused intensive care unit.  I walked out to the front desk, took out the P.A.W.S. credit card, and paid one-half of the initial estimate.  I went home and sent e-mails to all of the P.A.W.S. Board Members telling them what had happened and that they needed to come to a decision on how they wanted me to proceed.  They agreed to retroactively authorize the $2,700 commitment.  I know it was a difficult decision to some extent because to spend $2,700 in veterinary care for one pet was, for our small rescue, a huge risk.  Some Board members commented on how much good we could do with that money for so many other animals.  But in the end, it was a uanimous decision to treat Orlando and not euthanise him.

The first three days Orlando was in intensive care I hardly slept.  It was costing over $800 a day for his care -- not counting the cost of tests and x-rays.  By day three, he was holding his own and there was slight improvement but by then, the estimate for his care was at $3,900.  I was giving the Board daily up-dates and when the bill reached $4,000 asked if any one had any regrets.  All eight Board members told me "no" but I knew we all had a growing pit of anxiety in our stomachs wondering how we would ever be able to pay for this AND keep the rest of the rescue program viable.  We decided to reach out to the public in hopes that we would get enough donations to pay for at least half of  his medical expenses.  Always in the back of our minds thinking -- how much is too much for the life of one little homeless puppy?  Twice a day I spoke with vets caring for Orlando and received the newest estimte for his continued treatment.  The pit in my stomach growing exponentially with the quickly increasing bill.

The good news is that after one week in intensive care, Orlando is now standing, eating on his own, and his lungs are improving by leaps and bounds.  He is slowly being weaned off the oxygen that saved his life and we are anticipating him being able to leave the Emergency Clinic today [Saturday].  We will have to continue him on antibiotics and nebulize him 2-3 times a day for at least a week but his chances of a complete recover are now very high. 

The bill?  That's the bad news.  Right now it's just over $6,000.  About one-tenth our total annual budget.  We've gotten a couple hundred dollars in donations but not nearly enough to help us recover from this.  Did we make the right decision?  I truly don't know.  It concerns me that we have received so few donations and so little interest from the pet loving community.  I worry that if we are ever faced with this situation again the Board will be reluctant to commit to that kind of expense.  How do you put a price on the life of a sweet, innocent puppy?  Did we make the right decision to treat and hope that the public would open their hearts and pocket books for Orlando?  I look at him sleeping inside the incubator and I simply don't know.  I'm tired.  I'm emotionally drained.  I'm happy that it look's like he's going to make it and recover.  I'd much rather spend the $6,000 and end up with a live puppy than a dead one.  But I worry about how many other puppies, dogs, cats and kittens will die because P.A.W.S. now can't afford to take them in.  I worry our donors and sponsors will think we were financially irresponsible.  I worry that I will have to face this dilemma again.